My Birthday

Today is my birthday, but I don’t feel happy at all. There’s no present, no “happy birthday” words to me. I feel so lifeless.

“I want to forget everything”. That was my only wish.

Sometimes, because it’s always like this.. I think that they will be fine even if I’m not there besides them. If I walk away, they will soon forget about my existence and lead a happy life. I’m not worth it at all.

Right now, all I want was someone who can told me that I am precious to him. That’s all.

 

Happy Birthday to me. I hope I can be more POSITIVE this year.

The Call – Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

I’ll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

The Rain Song – Led Zeppelin

It is the springtime of my loving – the second season I am to know
You are the sunlight in my growing – so little warmth I’ve felt before.
It isn’t hard to feel me glowing – I watched the fire that grew so low.

It is the summer of my smiles – flee from me Keepers of the Gloom.
Speak to me only with your eyes. It is to you I give this tune.
Ain’t so hard to recognize – These things are clear to all from
time to time.

Talk Talk – I’ve felt the coldness of my winter
I never thought it would ever go. I cursed the gloom that set upon us…
But I know that I love you so

These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion – I seek the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient – Upon us all, upon us all a little rain must fall…It’s just a little rain…

Ten 2 Five – Love Is You

My friend like this song. So, I’m posting it for her. :’)

 
This is how i feel
Whenever i’m with you
Everything is all about you
Too good to be true

Somehow i just can’t believe
You can lay your eyes on me
If this is a fairy tale
I wish you will end happily
Even know we are a part
I can feel you here next to me
Here and now i will love
Stay with me

Let me love you with all my heart
You are the one for me
You are the light of my soul
Let me hold you with my arms
Wanna feel love again
Wanna feel love again
Wanna feel love again

And i know love is you

Love is you

Love is you

(end)

Love

Sometimes, I want to be loved.

Friends – Aura Dione ft Rock Mafia

Free, free to be myself,
Free to need some time
Free to need some help
So I’m reaching baby, out
When I’m lonely in the crowd
When the silence gets too loud
I’ll be crashing on a couch

And even if I never forget you baby
Tonight I’m gonna let your memory baby
Go, oh it’s sad I know

But at least I got my friends
Share a rain coat in the wind
They got my back until the end
If I’ll never fall in love again
Well at least I got my friends
Like a life boat in the dark
Saving me from the sharks
Even though I got a broken heart
At least I got my friends, got my friends, got my friends, got my friends
Well at least I got my friends

Secrets (2)

4. I hate meeting new people. Because when the time is come, I know we have to part. It is always like that. And I hate that feeling. So, in order for me not to feel that way, I distance my self to others. I build a wall around me. They never be more than a friend to me.

5. I’m a desperate person. I’m always have a negative way of thinking. But there is no one who knows it. Because in front of the others, I always be a strong girl. I don’t know how i could be like that.

Finally… I’m glad I can let it out. Now, it’s not a secret to me anymore. I don’t have to hold it alone. :’)

Secrets (1)

I have many secrets.

1. My family are different. My parents doesn’t talk much about my childhood. They even dare to abandon the three of us. Even if it was only for one year they abandon me and my sisters, in that moment i understand that my life is not a big deal for them. In fact, when my mother pregnant, she tried to abort me. But, even so I still love them.

2. I always live for other people. My purpose to live is to make people happy. My family, my friends, and for the others. I am stupid. I never let myself decide what best for me. It is always for others.

3. Sometimes I wish i had never been born. Or I can disappeared anytime as I want. I want to escape from reality. I want to live in a place where there is no one that can find me. I am tired of this life. It filled with lie and hypocrisy.

About Me

I’m 14 years old, but soon it will be 15. A second child from three sisters.

I love to write stories. But most of my story was never finished.

My hobby is drawing. I like music, read manga and novels.

I don’t like crowd. I prefer a quite place.

I’m a quite person and my eyes are sharp. If I’m angry, most people wouldn’t want to talk to me.

Maybe that’s all. I too, don’t know much about myself.